open heart

This has been sitting in my draft box wondering if I should post it or not.  So, here it goes!




I know I mentioned I will be posting about my the girls retreat, but that must wait a little longer. I am still trying to gather all the pictures. 


But until then, God is going a great work and I want to share it with you. This is harder for me than it may seem. Most of my readers only know what I write and since I get to choose what I write about, you may not get to "see" this part of my heart often.


I am going to make myself very vulnerable here. I have been praying that God would show me areas in my life that I need to get rid of, work on, and change. We all know that  God actively answers our prayers. So recently God has been dealing with me about bitterness and an unforgiving spirit. We all know that there are certain people that God places in our lives that we don't always see eye to eye with. No matter how hard you both try you butt heads over and over again. You try to bite your tongue, but every aspect of your body language expresses your feelings. Well, I have encountered my match- so to speak. We, as in both of us have known this since the very start.  We have tried being the best of friends, ignoring one another, but despite our every effort God insisted on using our relationship to teach us something other than friendship. God is teaching me to love others. I wrote in a past post recently the devotion I did during the girls retreat. Little did I know that the very words the Lord laid on my heart would be used to convict me days later. 


This relationship that God is using to teach me to love other hasn't been the best. I actually caused my relationship with this person and even those who noticed the disunity to be hindered. I wasn't being an example to others. I had allowed bitterness to overtake my heart. More importantly this sin in my life effected my relationship with Christ.  Below is a portion of a book we are reading for Mentor Chapel:


"Bitterness arises in our hearts when we do not trust in the sovereign rule of God in our lives. Bitterness toward people is the result of an unforgiving spirit. Someone has wronged us, either apparently or actually, and we refuse to forgive that person; instead we harbor thoughts of bitterness toward the person. We refuse to forgive because we will not recognize that God has forgiven us of far, far greater wrongs." [Jerry Bridges- The Pursuit of Holiness]


I have really spend a lot of time in prayer about this. I have realized that this wasn't the first situation where I have harbored bitterness because I had an unforgiving spirit. I am working on this area of my life. I have been praying that the Lord would help me realize just how much He loves me,  how much He has forgiven me. Because that is the only true way I will be able to love and forgive others.  I ask that you join me in prayer about this issue in my life. Pray that I will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and that God would continue to show me areas in which I need to work on. Which I know He will because God is using this very issue to point out other sins in my life.