Am I really someone worth dying for?

I heard this sone today. I hope these lyrics minister to your heart, because it sure does mine. 

Someone Worth Dying For by: MIKESCHAIR

"You might be the wife, waiting up at night

You might be the man, struggling to provide

Feeling like it's hopeless

Maybe you're the son who chose a broken road

Maybe you're the girl thinking you'll end up alone

Praying God can you hear me?

Oh God are you listening?

Am I more than flesh and bone? Am I really something beautiful?

Yeah I wanna believe, I wanna believe that

I'm not just some wandering soul

That you don't see and you don't know

And I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I

Am someone worth dying for

I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free

But you think you're the one that grace could never reach

So you just keep asking, oh what everybody's asking...

Am I more than flesh and bone? Am I really something beautiful?

Yeah I wanna believe, I wanna believe that

I'm not just some wandering soul

That you don't see and you don't know

Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I

Am someone worth dying for

You're worth it, you can't earn it

Yeah the cross has proven that you're sacred and blameless

Your life has purpose

And you are more than flesh and bone,

Can't you see you're something beautiful

Yes you gotta believe, you gotta believe

He wants you to see, He wants you to see

That you're not just some wandering soul

That can't be seen and can't be known

Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you are by 

Someone worth dying for, oho

You're someone worth dying for, oho

You're someone worth dying for.

well it's been awhile...

well it's been awhile… i have been home for almost 3 weeks and i cannot not believe where time has went. so much has taken place. i arrive safe and sounds after 2 pretty easy flights june 2. leaving Hungary wasn't as hard as i thought it would be, but saying my goodbyes just days before took a toll on my heart. i have grown to love each one of our students and it is so different not having the people i once saw everyday in my life. 

Ethan and Kaylee [wet from
 swimming in our clothes]

Kaylee and Kyla playing dress up

since being home i have started my summer job. i have an amazing job. the 3 kids i keep are beautiful. there is ethan. the oldest [10 years old] and the only boy! he is very handsome. he loves to make others laugh and be a little dare devil. he is a great big brother and loves helping and playing with his sisters. then there is kyla, who is 5 and beautiful. she has a great imagination and is all girl. lastly there is kaylee [age 4]. she is a sweetheart who loves anyone to play with her and be tickled. she is super cute but loves to get dirty and have have fun. they are are well behaved, respectful, and so much fun. we have made home made play-dough and a slip and slide, we have spent many hours in the pool, and took trips to the park and thats not the end of it… we still have 2 more months. 

My sisters and I going cake testing
for our parents party!!

my sisters an i also threw my a surprise 25th anniversary party. this was very hard and quiet stressful, but none-the-less we had so much fun and it was a great turn out. we got to give my parents a gift card to book themselves a cruise and this is something thing they have been waiting to do for a long time, so hopefully they will go sometime soon!! but that wasn't even the best part. my favorite part is watching them renew their vows.

be looking forward to my post about our family vacation and missions trip coming up. God is going to do great things during this time that i am home, i am sure of it. But to be completely honest with my readers… i need your prayers. i am very use to having very strict accountability. i no longer have that [so to speak], so please pray that i will have the motivation to stay in the Word. my friend Summer and I are starting up another Bible study and i am looking forward to continue getting involved in my home church. we shall see what God has planned.

"Wednesday"

I stole this picture from a student, but
I did point out the clouds to her, so she could get a picture. 

Wednesday is exactly in the middle of the week. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday is separated from Thursday Friday and Saturday by WEDNESDAY. I know this seem's so dumb to even think about, but because this is the last week for the students; today just symbolizes how quickly the week is going. My day today started out pretty full, but slowly meetings got canceled, cut short, or rescheduled and now my day is looking empty, but it is already 11am. I am sure the rest of the week will be a bit of a blur. 

Saturday is the long awaited graduation day. I have such mixed emotions. This past week I began to list all of my "last" here in Hungary and that is fun because home is coming so quickly. I am so happy about going home, and starting the next phase of my life that goodbye just seems easy, until yesterday that is. I shed my first tear of this whole goodbye  process. I wasn't expecting to, not yesterday or even saturday, but it happened. 

The girls threw me a surprise party during girls devotions. Something I wasn't expecting at all. I even met with Monca earlier in the day to discuss what we were going to do because the guest speaker wasn't able to make it, but, as I later found out it was already planned. 

I was so kindly waiting for my mentee, Nicole, as she got out of a meeting, forgot her Bible, had to go to the bathroom, stopped to talk to people along the way, and then we finally made it to the Castle and I had to still run by the mailboxes. We were pushing it… I the Asst. Dean of Women was late to girls devotions. Little did I know it was all planned distractions. When we walked in I heard everyone yell surprise and then I continued to sit in confusion. 

At my surprise party and still looking a
little confused about what going on.

Honestly, it wasn't until I got asked to leave the room with 2 other people for a game that I then found out it was a mixture of things: Surprise- early birthday party [since I wouldn't be here then]  mixed with a goodbye/thank you. We shared testimonies about what God has taught us this year and then enjoyed snacks before dinner. :) 

I am so blessed to be surrounded by these people who I have been able to learn from, be challenged by, and make life long friendships with. It is such a blessing to have been able to be here in Hungary this year and serve along side of brothers and sisters in Christ who have the same passion for the Word of God and ministry. 

This year I have learned lots of important lessons, and have been able to practice, live out and revisit past lessons which have already been learned. 

I am looking forward to sharing all about these soon after graduation, but for now please pray for Word of Life Hungary. 

-Pray for students as they are finishing classes and turning in all their assignments.

-Friday is the final cleaning and packing. And don't forget the scheduled fellowships. Pray that we have sweet conversations and make many memories.

-Saturday 11am is graduation! Pray that the program will run smoothly and that the students will feel appreciated for all their hard work.

-And after our banquet lunch everyone is free to go! Please be in much prayer as student leave,  safety as they travel home. 

-Also each student will be participating in 8 weeks of summer ministry. So pray as they continue to serve God all over the world.

-Lastly pray as yours truly-me- begins to wrap up and finish my responsibilities here. I fly home June 2, but hopefully you will hear from me again before then.

Much love and thankfulness to each of you for your prayers! 

...but a vapor

Ever since Kinga, one of the leaders for the missions reality trip shared her testimony one thought has been in my head- Life is a vapor. We spend so much of our time waiting and wasting it on things that do not matter. Kinga shared a story about how in her house she has an empty picture frame hanging on the wall. [[I may not get the exact details, but here is the main gist.]] She never knew what she wanted to place inside of this frame. And when people came over to visit it was always a conversation starter. One time when someone asked about the empty picture frame, her husband responded that it is just a good reminder that many times God does little things in our lives and we don't exactly understand why, but that is because we don't see the big picture. He is the only one who can see the WHOLE picture. To finish the story she now has this quote painted on the wall inside this frame: "As it turns out… now is the moment you have been waiting for." Think about for just a moment. We spend our time worrying and thinking about what is going to happen when were living in the mist of the very thing we have been waiting for. Sadly we miss it because our focus is else where. 

Then today in my James study we looked at verse 14 which says, "You do not know about tomorrow. What is your life like? For you are a puff of smoke that appears for a short time and then vanishes." This has been such a good reminder for me that life is short. Who knows when our time is up. I need to be living every moment as if it were my last. What am i doing to make a difference in this world with the time that Christ has given me? I want my life to count, not just for something, but for the Kingdom of God and for His glory. This is my prayer not only for myself, but you as well. Like the saying goes, "Only one life 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last."  

Missions Reality Update

As I mentioned in my video update, this past week we had the soccer marathon, a team from the 2nd year class from Word of Life NY came and the class trip. I don't have much of an update about the soccer marathon, but I know that it went well and we had 12 teams come and play. The Gospel was clearly preached during half time.  The class trip turned out amazing. It was a wonderful time of fellowship and a fabulous dinner on a boat. But may main focus of this post is to tell you all about Missions Reality...

The goal was to give the Missions Reality team a real taste of what it is like to be a missionary. Last minute opportunities or ministering with little preparation, having little or no sleep, and a very busy schedule.  God did such an amazing work in many peoples lives, not just those we were ministering too, but in our very own heart.

This was my 3 time participating in a Missions Reality team.  Each trip I had different responsibilities and God worked in very different way. My first trip as a student to South Africa was where God personally showed me the needs of others. Then my second trip as a staff leader to Hungary God burden me with the Gospel. I have so much to share and there are so many people right at my fingertips who need to hear. This past week was my third trip. I guess you could consider me as a host. I was able to tag along and serve in whatever way possible. Serve the kids we were ministering to, but also the team as well.

The week was pack full of different ministry opportunities. We went to 2 orphanages, 3 schools to teach English, sports rally, a Bible club, work day, helped counsel students after Born Again to a Living Hope drama presentation, did park ministry, and even had a day filled with sightseeing.

For me personally, I was encouraged by the team. It was such a blessing to be around other Americans, to do something different than my daily responsibilities, to share the love of God with children, to answers questions about my life here in Hungary. Another blessing with to put my little Hungarian into practice. I was able to help the team ask the children their names, how old there were, and even what they wanted painted on their faces, or what balloon animal they wanted. I am by no means perfect, but I was able to communicate and that was a big encouragement to me personally. It showed my that my studies, and classes were not in vain. What a reward?!?!

God has really just showed me what it means to be selfless and willing to serve in whatever way needed. Many times I want the spot light, maybe I don't show it outwardly, but in my heart I know it is something I struggle with. Once again with this trip I am reminded that it is not about me. I am so glad God is consistent in showing me area's I need to work on.

Thank you so much from your prayers. Be looking out for more updates as my time here is ending very fast!

Video Update

36

Every morning when I glance at my planner, I see a number. Today the number is 36, tomorrow it will be 35. On May 1 it will be 32. I am sure by now you noticed it's a countdown. On somedays I am very thankful for this and other times it saddens me. Today, I have mixed feelings. I am so excited to go home, but I realize that my time with the girls, my friends, and coworkers is coming to an end. 


This year has brought many smiles and tears. Many memories make my heart smile, and others still make it hurt a little. There is always a beginning and an end. Such is life!!! I have learned so much from those God has placed in my life this year. From my room mates, students, and coworkers all alike. I would like to personally thank each one of you, but that would take too long. Please know you are loved and will be missed. Each of you hold a dear spot in my hearts and have played a role in the many lessons God has taught me this year.


To say the least… God has taught me the following: 
-He is faithful 
-How to live by faith
-Humility: helping me realize I need to apologize and ask forgiveness. 
-Selflessness: to put others needs before my own
-Grin and bear it- to smile even when it hurts or I don't feel like it. 
-Testimony: my daily, boring life is a testimony.
-Prayer: Many situations have caused me to run to the Lord in prayer. God has used this to teach me that even when I didn't know what to say, He knows my heart. 


But above all I still come back to faith. When my faith is weak, My God is and will always remain faithful. God was faithful and taught me so much this year. 


I am sure all of these lessons were just PART 1 out of a LIFE TIME SERIES. He used so many different avenues to do so. Therefore, this year has been an adventure. One that is passing by quickly and I can gladly say with "no complaints". I am not saying it has been easy and that I have loved everyone moment of it or that I couldn't have done better.   But this year has been one that has taught me so much and if it wasn't for those lessons I would arrive home the same person I was when I left. “It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace." 


So thank you for investing in my life!